Have you ever noticed that, in your own mind, you tend to think everyone else is more intelligent, better looking, wealthier, or happier than you are? Why is that? Is that not the saddest thing? Here you are, living in the western world, with great education and health care, surrounded by people who adore you, and striving to become independently wealthy. Yet, we constantly compare ourselves to other people, thinking that “they” have it much better than you. This is an illusion that we must fight against with all our strength and fortitude.
The media has us believing that the world is a scary place, that everyone is out to get us and that we are low people because we don’t own a big business or aren’t making millions (or billions) of dollars. We are surrounded by people who take prescription drugs just because they feel insecure and bad about their lot in life. Some of the most educated and beautiful people I know need medication just to go to work everyday. Is that not the craziest thing?
You are wealthier and more beautiful than you’ll ever know. Practice the following.
(i) Begin each day in gratitude for our health, support system and love.
(ii) Look in the mirror and speak beautiful language to yourself. Be kind, generous and your best friend.
(iii) Talk to someone today and help them solve a problem. They’ll reciprocate and will help you one day.
(iv) Say a kind word to someone you meet today who looks a little sad.
(v) Keep the focus off your personal pity party and help someone else .
(vi) Spend your free time today looking at Youtube videos on how to reach your higher self.
(vii) Be proud of other people’s accomplishments. They are no better, or worse, than you. They have the same insecurities and issues you have.
Know that you are already terrific and have everything you need to do anything you want to do today. You’re special. Be your best self. The world needs YOU just the way you are.
Nothing worries a parent more than to have a child come home from school after being bullied. The emotions can range anywhere from your child feeling sad, humiliated and embarrassed to showing signs of anxiety and depression. And nothing angers a parent more than to hear that the teacher had made fun of their child in front of the class, making the situation worse for their child.
As a Guidance Counsellor, I have spoken with many parents over the years who have shared with me stories of their children getting bullied at school and having to spend days, months or even years dealing with their child’s anxiety and depression that inevitably follows. One “small” event can be life changing – for both the child and and the entire family.
I have seen it all. I have been involved in situations where families pay the price of torture and sadness for years by using ineffective ways of dealing with the situation AND in situations where families deal with it in a way that brings positive transformation to their child.
The goal is to have a happy child again. Here are some ways to effectively deal with the situation:
(i) Gather the facts. Find out from your child exactly when, where, who, what and why the situation occurred.
(ii) Remain calm. Reassure your child that you love him/her and will do everything possible to make him/her safe.
(iii) Arrange to meet with the teacher, Guidance Counsellor or Dean of Students. The teacher and/or school counsellor should have contacted you before the child came home to prepare you for your child’s emotions. If not, contact the child’s guidance counsellor first thing in the morning and arrange a time to have a one-on-one meeting with you and the child. If there are confidential things that need to be discussed, have your child wait outside the office until you’ve finished speaking with the guidance counsellor.
Administration may require that the bullies stay a certain physical distance from your child while on school property. Your child may feel even more embarrassed about this but sometimes the only way to calm things down and strive for peace is for all people involved to have space.
(iv) Determine strategies for your child’s success. With the input of school administration, (a) be clear about your expectations (i.e. What do you want and expect them to do? Contact the parents of the alleged bullies? Discipline the alleged bullies?) and (b) determine the actions that school administration is willing (or not willing) to take.
(v) Surround your child with a supportive team. Contact a tutor, life coach, counsellor who can meet with your child and you to determine strategies for success (i.e. help your child develop a mindset and strategy that can help him/her move forward).
(vi) Help your child focus on the positive. Have your child create a vision board listing goals and dreams for the day, week, month or year to hang on his/her wall, refrigerator, etc.; encourage your child to read books and watch Youtube videos on successful people and positive strategies for success.
(vii) Help your child develop a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. Practice positive language at home and an attitude of “if-it’s-going-to-be-it’s-up-to-me.
(viii) Encourage your child to stay physically active (eg. martial arts is terrific). This will help him/her gain physical strength which will help with emotional strength building.
(ix) If your child is experiencing anxiety and depression consistently for at least two weeks, seek professional help for your child and you (parents/sibblings). Your child needs help – if only for the short term. Don’t let this event become a bigger monster than it already is.
With the right support team and mindset, your child will learn from this and grow into a terrific human being who can help others. Your child will thrive more quickly with a supportive and effective professional team. I know. I’ve experienced miracles with children and families who have made the transformation to greatness in spite of the obstacles. You can too!
Great counsellors are innovative. We draw from the repertoire of techniques we’ve honed from our years of experience and seek to improve our sessions with students and parents. Don’t you just love those breakthrough sessions where we not only help transform the lives of our precious students where they are able to live their higher self but also the lives of parents who improve the ways in which they help navigate their children through high school and the university decision process? Isn’t this our goal in school counseling?
To be innovative, the habits of this out-of-the-box-thinking counsellor consists of
(1) changing our mindset from being a counsellor/advisor to becoming a thought leader, seeking trends in the field of transformational action plans and implementing them in schools.
(2) changing family counselling sessions from a feel good, run-of-the-mill counselling session to an experience of transforming the way we help parents prepare for and navigate their children’s future.
(3) changing from a “welcome to high school, this-is-how-we-do-it-here” mindset to an inquiry mode, asking more deliberate and inquiring thought questions, delivering a more personalized and action oriented session to our students and parents.
(4) changing the question, “what do colleges want” to “what is the best advise/solution for the student that will help our students to ultimately transform and succeed in life?”
This is where counseling is fun AND beneficial to the student and his/her parents. This mindset is what keeps the fulfillment in the wealthy counsellor’s life.
Why be innovative? The benefits are breath taking!
You, as a counsellor, who seek out these practices will
(1) immediately begin initiating & helping students achieve successful results.
(2) attract new families to our school through word of mouth marketing by our students who speak of the life-changing session they’e had with you.
(3) reap the rewards of parents changing the way they raise children to become better students and create a happier home environment.
(4) reap the benefits of watching the entire grade levels of students experience greater success, impact and personal transformation.
(5) increase student acceptance rates into first choice colleges (including IVY Leagues) and yield higher retention rates of our students when in college.
Counsellors who truly want to be the very best in the world will seek to counsel and advise with the focus on excellence, thinking out of the box and rising to their highest professional self.
To be clear, we want to help students and parents attain personal excellence and reach their higher self.
To help the administrative team transform a school to greatness, the counsellor will
(1) strive to understand the existing gaps and barriers to student growth in their school. He/she will be mindful of any behavioral or cultural systemic barrier which currently decreases retention rates and undermine school effectiveness.
(2) be a formal or informal leader of school-wide initiatives and grade level teams, mentoring and coaching teachers with impactful ideas, concepts and quality programming.
(3) create and implement new and innovative ways to increase student retention and overall student experience.
(4) constantly seek to help deliver new ways to add to school effectiveness, using ideas from books such as “Good to Great”, “Habits of Highly Effective Students”, and “Mindset”.
(5) lead by expert example.
(6) provide high levels of fun, engagement and quality student experiences by creating opportunities for student leadership and excellence.
The counsellor will reap the benefits of
(1) closing existing gaps, increasing school effectiveness and overall student experience.
(2) watching the school culture reach its next level of excellence for the good of everyone in the entire school community.
(3) helping guidance department and teachers become more re-energized, positive, supportive, welcoming and effective.
(4) helping contribute to the school’s brand and improving perception in the community.
This is a win-win for everyone and YOU, the counsellor, have the ultimate advantage of being in a position of transforming the school culture and climate to greatness.
Most counsellors and teachers I know have fought the good fight of deciding whether or not to delve into social media (Blogging, LinkedIn, Facebook, Podcast, YouTube, Periscope, Instagram, Twitter) for the obvious reason. We want to protect our privacy. In order to protect our privacy, of course, all we need to do is keep all things professional. Period. So, it is with a growth mindset that I have decided to begin publishing my experiences online, in keeping with a polished professional image while staying private.
After watching countless you tube videos and reading hundreds of books on the topics of entrepreneurship and personal financial planning, it is clear that we no longer can afford not to raise our profile on social media. If we truly want to make a positive difference in the world (the number one reason people choose education as their profession) and become financially independent (the number one goal of all people who do not want to become dependent on the government for assistance), then we MUST work on establishing our mark through social media.
Patrick Bet-David, on YouTube, tells it like this. . .
Blogging is the new newspaper.
LinkedIn is the new resume.
Facebook is the new letter.
Podcast is the new radio.
YouTube is the new television.
Periscope (within Twitter) is the new television broadcast.
Instagram is the new photo album.
Twitter is the new entertainment and gossip column.
So, I now have realized that to be great is to keep current and relevant, continue making a difference in the lives of students and parents, keep making the journey towards financial independence and living the dream of a wealthy-minded professional.
THE one thing that all schools are needing is the formula to student success. Your job as a counsellor is to proactively create a positive revolution within the hearts and minds of the students you counsel. You will not only strive to bring out the best in them, but your ultimate goal is to help them reach their higher self.
Above all else, the exceptional counsellor strives for quality in each and every task, meeting and presentation throughout the working day.
The Quality-Driven Counsellor is one who
(1) is an expert in creating, organizing, and delivering quality programs to students, families and teachers, offering success strategies, accountability practices, and action oriented ideas.
(2) makes lessons and assemblies purposeful, effective and powerful
(3) catches the imagination and dreams of students and parents in their sessions (eg. begin your talk with “imagine two years from now, you’re sitting in a lecture room at your first choice university . . . “).
(4) personalizes counselling for each families by doing more asking than talking. You seek to understand their core family values and the greatest fears about their children.
(5) reads at least two or three book and/or watches several you tube videos per month on best practices and research about how children learn. You want to offer sound and thoughtful advice that brings students and families to their next level of excellence.
(6) seeks out opportunities and proactively approach students and families to discuss low test scores, decreased performance, and/or changes in student behaviour.
Guaranteed Results
Once a counsellor has practiced his/her craft enough, the results will show for themselves:
Students and families will
(1) repeat business with your school. Families will re-enroll their child, in part, because of the quality of counselling service provided to them.Your school should experience increased retention rates by 5% to 10% each year.
(2) naturally tell other friends and family members of your quality service and attract new families to your office and, potentially, to admissions.
(3) experience a marked improvement in student behaviour and achievement results almost immediately.
(4) experience increased student acceptance rates at Ivy League and first choice colleges, securing major scholarship money from competitive colleges for well-deserving students. Your superb counselling and advise will connect students with colleges and universities of best fit, thus increasing their retention rate in their post-secondary school.
thejayoasis 