Does your son seem a little off lately? is he exhibiting behaviors that are not normal for him? Does he sleep with his light on? Does he not want to sleep alone in his bed anymore? Does he seem more angry or agitated than normal?
When boys exhibit behaviors that are out of character for them, we need to pay attention. It could be signs of any number of things: bullying, hanging around with a fast crowd who do not have the same values as your son and your family, getting a bad grade in school, etc.)
First and foremost, know that your son needs
(i) your patience and understanding. He does not want to be angry or make you annoyed at him anymore than you already may be.
(ii) your support, sensitivity and professionalism. He is most likely very embarrassed or humiliated and will not want you to contact the school. He doesn’t want any more negative attention drawn to him or have bullies and classmates retaliate. Hear him out, contact the school in a sensitive and professional.
(iii) the support of the school. He needs to know that the school is a safe environment. Contacting a school professional (counsellor, teacher or vice principal) to help guide him will assure him that he has a safe place to go for protection and understanding.
Here are some ways to deal with it:
(i) Have your son talk with a school counsellor or trusted teacher. You may instigate a meeting by notifying the school professional and have them talk with him.
(ii) If you see signs of anxiety (nervousness, panic, fear) or depression (can’t get out of bed) that continues for at least two weeks, bring him to a professional counsellor who can help him. Time is of the essence.
Please get this resolved in a timely manner. You want your child back to his normal vivacious self as soon as possible so that (i) he can concentrate on his studies and extracurricular activities and (ii) build resilience so that he will learn what to do next time it happens.
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